Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
