you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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