How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She told me I should be a condom model.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
