I wish I could teleport
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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