My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize