Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
