I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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