are you still at the devil's house?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
