look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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