yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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