tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
