I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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