how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
