I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
