I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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