he wants to bone in the snuggie
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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