Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She needs sedatives and a leash
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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