I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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