so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize