it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
