Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
