I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
