some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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