was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
