Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
