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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
