The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
