We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
