Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
