We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
