I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
