Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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