So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
