dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
