I want to stick my p in your. b.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
