Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize