i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
