In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize