I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
