i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
