READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
