Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Do vagina's smell?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize