you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
