Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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