It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
