Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
