I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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