It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
