Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
