She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize