my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
