I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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