are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
