I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
