her vagine was all disorganized.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I understand Curling. That high.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize