Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
