Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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