fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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