I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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