so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
