Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
