Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
