i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize