what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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