You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
