Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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