Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
